To Our Firstborn

Tonight while we were watching TV your dad looked over at my phone screen saver of you and asked "When did he get so big?"  That's a good question.  Wasn't it just yesterday that I was holding you night after night, praying you'd just go to sleep so I could get 3 hours in a row?  That we were going to weekly physical therapy sessions to correct your torticollis?  I feel like it was yesterday that I handed you to a complete stranger in a strange pool and trusted her to teach to you float and swim.  What an exercise of trust that was.  Now you swim the length of the pool with ease, and dive to the bottom to retrieve various items, coming up with a huge "I did it" smile on your handsome face.
I realize these first few years pass SO fast because they are most likely not sustainable for much longer than that!  God knew what he was doing when he decided on our life structure.  For parents, the first years are SO tough, and SO sweet, and SO demanding, and SO fun, but exhausting.  So I'll do my best to not focus on the past, but on what you can now do and accomplish.  You are incredibly persistent, which will serve you well in life.
As we approach your first day of kindergarten, I am finding myself sad that you are about to embark on your first big kid event (like how I just cried in the shower for 15 minutes haha).  Up until now, you haven't been apart from me for more than about 4 hours on most days.  9-330pm will seem like an eternity for awhile I think.
I wish I could keep you small, because right now we are your world, and the recipient of your everything!
I love feeling your little hand in mine when I lay with you until you go to sleep at night.
I love how you don't skip a beat to reply "I love you more" when I say I love you.
I love you asking me every night, "Mommy, will you lay with me?"
I love watching you create new inventions with your Legos, and beg me to come look at them, "right now, Mommy."
I love that mischievous gleam in your eye when you stick your tushy out and say "Can you get me?"
I love knowing that you are thinking of me while I am gone, and hearing that you sleep with my picture every night (though the process of leaving you was terrible).
I love when you tell me "Mommy it's OK!" when Hope hits you and then I correct her.
I love that you are starting to talk to Hannah when you have a conflict, saying "Well Hannah, I'd like to put my Legos here....that's my suggestion" instead of flipping out.
I love that you say "well at least I know how to rebuild them" when you drop a Lego structure or vehicle that you just put together.
I love that you put me in my place when you said "Well why wouldn't I share my new Legos- I want to be a good friend!" when I told you you were allowed to not share them the first day you put them together (after working for over a month to earn them by sleeping all night in your own bed).
I love how you drop what you are doing to help me refill the water tank in the ice machine, because you know I LOVE that ice!
I love that you know 3 of my favorite things are coffee, Diet Coke and donuts, and think enough to ask me "Mommy which is your favorite, Diet Coke or coffee?"
I loved how you cleaned up the entire playroom by yourself tonight without complaining, because both of your sisters were melting down. 
I love your tender heart, tearing up when you heard the first song on Daddy's Father's Day movie, and how you were stressed about what to get for daddy.
I love that you always say how much you love to spend time with your family.
I love that when you told me how much you like Summer Fun at school, and I replied "well now I bet your sad you don't get to go all three weeks," you said "No Mommy, I still like being with you more."  Be still my heart!
I love that you are learning to be brave, even when you are nervous.  Yesterday you stood next to me and wiped tears from your eyes as I signed you in to Summer Fun.  But you still went, saying "bye bye Mommy, I love you."
I love that growing up means you are starting to overcome your fear of dogs.  Imagine my happy surprise when I walked into our friend's house last weekend and you were throwing the toy for their hyper Boston Terrier!
I love that your tender heart told me you would work hard, sleeping all night for many nights in a row, and then give your prize to Hannah, after she showed interest in an Ariel Lego set at Target.
I LOVE that you now thank us unprompted for outings to the zoo or Disney, or when you get your new Lego sets after earning them.
You also apologize unprompted now when you mess up, and it is sincere.  I love that you still crawl into my lap for a hug after a time out or being disciplined.

You are constantly surprising me, and I am so proud of the maturity you are showing these days (like understanding when I can't lay with you because Hope is awake and needs me- instead you just negotiate how many minutes until I will come check on you).
God has a great plan for you and your sisters.  While I mourn the past a bit, I am loving seeing all you are accomplishing, learning and living.  I will also cherish EVERY moment of these next few weeks before we send you off to kindergarten, for I know it will change you from a baby into a big kid.
We love you sweet boy.