Yesterday was pretty good too- only one start of an accident. Today was good, and we had our first two outings since starting the process on Friday- to the pool and Publix later this afternoon! Poor Asher was getting kind of desperate to get out of the house. He kept asking "does anybody want to go to the pool?" several times a day.
I do think, however, things may have "clicked" for him even sooner than they have if we would have just stuck to the prescribed phrase and nothing else. It's really hard to know that your kid has to go but they are refusing to go, and you know an accident is imminent! However, this method is different from the traditional ones, as there is no questioning, forcing or bribing. There are rewards but it should not be the focus. Well, we are definitely guilty of "do you have to go potty? mommy/daddy is going potty, want to come too? Let's go potty Asher, I can see you need to go. If you go potty you get a sticker, don't you want a sticker?" The poor kid was kind of ambushed! So yesterday/this afternoon I just kind of had a reset and after an admonishment from the author herself and a conversation with Amanda (who used this method with her three girls), that we really need to let him be the one to "own" going to the bathroom. Otherwise we have to bug him for the next few years about it, and he's not going to be responsible for knowing his own body signals! Also, it can quickly become a power struggle, which isn't good. So no more questions/forcing (which wasn't getting us anywhere anyways, just Asher saying "no I don't have to go, I don't want to go, I'm not going"). We had one major accident today and then lots of good things! He went this morning right after getting up with no complaints (we are acting like some trips to the potty are just part of the routine, like right after he gets up and before we go somewhere he needs to try), a couple of hours later right before we went to the pool and even in the pool today, while floating I hear him start saying "I have to go to the potty!" I rushed him to the bathroom at the pool but it kinda weirded him out because it wasn't his little potty.
Despite his major accident today (I'll spare you the details), we still needed to go to the store, so after saying "Asher we are going to the store and we don't want to have accidents we need to go try ok" to which he replied he didn't have to go, I crossed my fingers and we headed out! He wanted to walk at the store, so I put Hannah in the stroller and off we went! I reminded him "Be sure to tell Mommy when you have to go, say 'Mommy I have to go potty!' when you need to go" about 40 times during our shopping, and it worked! He was trailing a few feet behind me with his cookie and I heard "I have to go potty!" Boy did I react fast! We speed walked to the bathroom and he went, no problem, in the Publix bathroom. I thought he might not want to go since it wasn't familiar, but he acted normal! Hallelujah! Both he and I were so proud of him. Trust me, people, this was big. Then when we got home he said the same thing, on his own! Even better, while I was trying to put him to bed it happened 4 more times, and he went every.single.time. Here's to hoping he stays dry all night after going 4 times in an hour! We will continue to stick close to home over the next several days, but I think we are headed in the right direction. I have only said the prescribed statement, and it's working (in addition to "wow you are such a big boy, keeping your big boy undies dry, you are amazing, we are so proud of you"). He is proud because he instigates it, and we are too!
He is such a character. Tonight when I was putting him to bed (for some reason he was really hyper despite only taking a one hour nap) he wanted me to rub his belly. I did but apparently wasn't doing it the right way. He said "no Mommy like this," to which I responded (after trying 3 times to do it his way) "Mommy is doing her best, stop being so bossy." He was quiet for a couple of seconds, then said "But I want to be bossy." Cracks me up! He has also taken to calling us 'mom' and 'dad' on occasion. We give him some instruction and he replies "otay mom, otay dad" it sounds really weird coming from a 2.5 year old! He is also adding 'es' to the end of a lot of words. He likes to be told stories about himself before he goes to sleep, and asks, saying "Can you tell me some storieses?" We have taken walks recently in the neighborhood and look for statues of animals. According to Asher we have seen "pretend chickenses, pretend alligatorses, pretend birdses, pretend doggieses and more! It's pretty cute.
This was my entry to Lora Jenson, author of the 3 Day Method:
"So glad you responded! It is the end of day 3 and things still haven't clicked. I'm wondering what I've done wrong. Is it wrong to say to him "mommy is going to the potty would you like to go?" I have had success with this twice today, but know it deviates from your method a bit. We still say the phrase in the book a ton but he has yet to say "I have to go to the potty!" He said something to that effect this evening but then said "I can't do it" when I said great lets go! Is it wrong to say "you can do it! let's go try, mommy can help you?" or am I truly supposed to do nothing until he says it on his own or starts to have an accident then I wisk him into the bathroom?
I did mess up last night I'm sure when he woke up at 12am and I assumed he had to go. I put him on the potty and he just cried. I took him off fairly quickly but would this contribute to him not being completely successful yet? We have seen improvement for sure- he went 12 hours last night and was dry at nap too which was awesome. I just don't know how much to say/encourage when he definitely has to go. Thank you!"
Her response:
"Hello Nicki,
YES - that is so wrong and not ok to say. He will start getting dependent on your to suggest it. But also he can start to feel that he is being forced to go.
It is so important to only remind him to let you know. If you think he has to go you can say “make sure to tell mommy when you have to go pee, ok, because it really looks like you have to go” and then wait for him to tell you. If he doesn’t, that is ok, just catch it in the act and just as they start."
She told me! :) Nice to be able to communicate with her, though. Very helpful.
Ok here's a few pictures from the last couple of days. We actually wore clothes today- so exciting! Haha!
Fourth of July smiles
Learning this important life skill of going to the potty!
Chillin'
What is going on around here?! Celebrating with crazy dances and little potties in the bathroom?!
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