Hide 'Yer Crazy

Guys, usually I hide my crazy and post mostly happy things on the blog, but tonight I gotta let my crazy out.
I am quoting a Miranda Lambert song I had the pleasure of seeing in person a few months back.  This is the chorus (and it's actually about a breakup, but I love the phrase 'hide your crazy'):

Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up
Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady
'Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
Even when you fall apart
But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart

Tonight I just gotta say- sometimes having three kids is hard.  Not because the third is always hard, but the combination of all three is tough.  And I have it good!  I get to stay home, be with said adorable children all.day.long. and have a wonderful husband who does things like vacuum and mop and make tiny ramps for the dog who is getting old and has arthritis in his back legs.  I hear my dad laughing right now and saying "I told you so!" Haha- yes Dad, you were right, you did know what we were "up against" heehee.
Everywhere I turn people look at me and say "wow you have your hands full" and I nod, smile and say yes I do.  Then they look wistful and say "Enjoy this time, it goes by so fast."  And while I know they are right, I feel more pressure to "be present" and "let the laundry pile up, the kids are only little once" and every time I turn on the computer I see an article telling me this time is precious and to "soak it up", but people, we gotta have clothes to put on these little ones, and if I don't do the laundry, they will be naked!  Asher would like that, come to think of it!
But sometimes wistful people, I wish I could sent you a picture of 7pm at my house.
Tonight, I was holding a fussing Hope in one arm, finishing dinner with the other (because I am trying to eat "clean" and lose the baby weight so I can be healthy and have more energy, but people it takes a LOT of planning and a LOT of determination), while Jayme was putting Asher to bed (which I had started but couldn't finish because the baby woke up from her 3 second nap), all the while fielding snack requests from Hannah, because, poor girl she is always, always "hungeed."  And then on some lucky days, the aforementioned arthritic dog walks into the kitchen, looks up at us, and pees all over the floor, during the stressful moments.  Thankfully not tonight, but was this situation the one everyone refers to when they say "Enjoy every moment?"  Or maybe it was tonight when I got so frustrated with Hope, and sat on the bathroom floor crying while rocking her in her Rock n' Play because, for the last few weeks, she has had a sleep regression of sorts, and is only napping for about 30 minutes at a time.  Today was rough, and it was a day when I had Jayme!  Do you know how hard it is to get ANYTHING done in 20 minutes???  If she gets overtired she has a hard time settling down for the next nap, and then doesn't sleep well again, and the whole situation repeats itself.
I fear she is becoming more like her older brother, and will struggle with sleep.  This is an age when there are lots of articles written because they go through a big developmental "leap" of sorts right around 4 months, and it comes out through bad sleep.  Hannah never had any issues with it, but Hope seems to be afflicted by it.  Sometimes this happens when a physical leap occurs too, and hers is that she is getting ready to roll over.  She has done it twice (of which neither time did I see it happen, cue more mommy guilt. as I have less time to just sit and "enjoy" her), so I am hoping once she becomes proficient in this skill she will go back to sleeping well....but all last night and through today she has taken short, 20-30 minute naps, after taking about 40 very fussy minutes to go to sleep (last night it took me about 2 hours to get her down successfully).  This is challenging when there are two other small children to take care of!  People!  I forget to return texts half the time anymore, and pour leftover OJ in the trash can instead of the sink.  I didn't use to be that person!
Thankfully, God gives us another day every 24 hours, all shiny and new.  Thankfully, my husband checked on me three times while Hope and  I were both crying in the bathroom to make sure I was ok and could he help with anything.  I told him she had to sleep eventually, and thankfully, she nodded off.  I was hoping the sound of the shower and dim lights would help her drift off, which is why she is still in the bathroom as I type this in the bedroom, because I will not be moving her until I'm sure she's past the 30 minute mark successfully.  Thankfully, I don't always have to hide my crazy.  And, I am thankful for these three sweet, healthy blessings from the big guy upstairs.  Hannah turns three on Monday, and I cannot believe how much she has changed.  She was bounding all over today with her cousins and brother, playing with baby dolls and loving on Hope every chance she got.  Last night I said "I love you Hannah" when I put her in her crib, and as I got to the door and was about to leave I heard her tiny little voice say "I love you too Mommy."  Cue heart melt.  I know I am blessed, trust me.  I know these are first world problems.  Raising three kids though, man there's a lot of ways to screw it up!  Continue to say prayers for us friends, as we raise these little ones to be a man and women of God.  It is all more than worth it, and they are my dream come true, but sometimes, I just gotta be real and let my crazy out.  And no, we will NOT be making it "an even four." :)  Hugs and love to all!